Best-Absolute-Perfect Rant

As an almost jobless person, being a kpop trash is just such a necessary. Hahaaa

Here I am, actually 25 years old. Too old to be sunk in all the kdrama cheesiness and boyband craziness. But once again, here i’am. Being all cozy and proud to be drown.

Lets talk about Boyband. Korean boyband, to be specific.


I fall in love easily. Like, all the young sexy face from boyband land doesn't have to try that hard to get me as a fan. Even the real struggle is to keep up with their korean’s names and patiently waiting for English sub for almost everything’s up in the youtube //But mostly i just watch all the videos anyway without the sub because i’m fabulous// Yeah.

Being the pretty trash myself, i just so drown until all these come to the point to scare me.
No, i’m not spending money to buy any album. No, i’m not going to any concert. No, i’m not commenting on their ig post or anything. Because as a start, i’m too poor to buy anything and too scare to reveal my real ugly fangirlsoul. Well, you know, being old is just something sometime. People love to judge and I'm not doing well accepting their humble opinion. So, keeping it all for myself because I'm that stunning who just love myself.

Mostly i’m just actively stalking anything and fangirling hard.

But, sometime, their being perfect on anything just calling my inner criminal mind.

Here the moral of this story. It's, BAP.

One of Korean boyband, lets call my biggest obsession, is B.A.P //go googling if you have no idea whats this ship is about// huwehehee

Best Absolute Perfect //that's their boyband’s name// so badass right?
Like, who’s giving them the right to be the best in absolutely perfect way?

It's their mascot. The MATOKIs.

I’m crying myself to sleep thinking about how stupid i’m. Hahaa like, how could i’m thinking about marrying one of them in this age? I should get a grip and be mature. I should not develop any other obsession more than this. I’m on my final level of my adult chapter life. 25, remember? Mostly people stick on this fangirling stage is around their teenage time. I'm not late. I just haven't finish yet. And, maybe won't.

This particular boyband has 6 members. Yongguk, himchan, daehyun, youngjae, jongup and zello //in age order// so, yongguk is the rapper and the leader. Zello is another rapper and main dancer along with jongup. Ther rest is vocal. And, my main concern is the leader.

//You should go find his photo now, it will help to understand my next rant//
Oh well, i will give you one. because I'm kind.

Despite of him being perfect, like i said, it triggers my criminal mind. Or we could just call it, as me being psychopath. I come to the conclusion that i should be born as rich mafia daughter and get yongguk. So simple and easy. So clean.

Just imagine, with the money and the power, i really need to do something beside being a good fangirl. My observation so far, if you want to get notice you should do something serious and nothing serious more than a kidnapping mission and asking autograph. It will be so fab.

Well, it will be amazing if he decide to marry me or just singing some lul before sleep but i should also concern about his mental. Or worst, he might just kill himself despite marrying me. Hmmm, i should be more careful even if i’m a rich mafia daughter with amazing power.

So first, i will contact their agency. I will negotiate in a good way. Offering them money and being a good fan. I’m arranging time so i can meet them privately.

Wait. Privately? Will i survive this? I mean, me, meeting them live and private?
I might be dead just by hearing their footsteps right? No. Even if i die, i should just comeback as a spirit to meet them. I have to meet them. I cant waste my born as rich mafia daughter that easy. So, i think i can make it. I can meet them even i cant make sure i will be in the right state. Because chance me being an idiot is the biggest problem here.

So, meeting them is a must.

That time when i meet them....

Woah. I cant imagine anything. How will they look in 1 meter sight?

All i can think that i will absolutely look like a grass stare to the high mountain because all of them so out of my height. The shortest one is jongup in 174 cm tall and the tallest is the maknae zello, who is stand on 187 cm level. Even as a spirit, i assure you my height will be the same. My 157 cm will not stand any chance.

Well, i survive looking at the stars all this time so, i think i can handle them. I will just stare like how i used to stare at the stars. Because apparently, they are stars, indeed.

What will happen?

Maybe i will cry? Or no? Because i’m not a cry person.
Screaming crazily? Hmm, i don't think so because i’m not easily screaming even when i’m surprised. My first reaction usually just staring and understanding anything before doing something. As a picture, if there’s a bomb blowing behind me, i will just stare and thinking, what kind of a bomb is that. That kind of slow me. I just don't have enough expression because basically, i’m so lack being human. I’m so much antisocial myself.

So, i think, i will just stare at them with me being the mighty mafia daughter. Stare until my eyes hurt because i just cant believe that i finally meet them in person.

Then, touching them is a must.

I cant waste this chance. I should do that crucial things as a fan. Shake hand! Ommooooh, i should shake hand with them. Me, touching their hands. Yongguk hands....

I think i should bring emergency staff along. If i dont die, chance is i’m in critical state. All my organ must be over work. My heart will definitely blow!!

Shaking hand, asking for autograph and photograph. I will get them to call me by name... ooohh it will be amazing. Then, they will faint one by one because i put some sleeping pills in their drink. Huwahahahaaaa //evil laugh//in ugly way//

My fellow mafia will sneak them to the rooftop where my helipad is located. I will fly them to my hideout and delete them from any record. They must be consider as never exist anymore. As idols or citizen. I take them with me means, i have them fully.

I will just burn down their agency and their dorm and pay media to spread that their dearest BAP just gone with the wind. ha.ha.ha //I'm feeling evil enough now//

Finally, here, in my super wonderful mansion, i have them all for myself. I haaavveee them and we will live happily ever after because i will wipe all their old memories //my father asks the scientists to find a way to do that// they will be brand new people but i will keep their talent.

Oh my god, they will perform just for me. My private showcase.
They will be laughing everyday with me. Smiling brightly when i call their names. We will cook some ramen while watching their fellow idols on TV.

Good time.

Hmmm, absolutely good time.

What a story. The story itself already makes me happy.

Then cyeah, i will keep the story and just be happy with it because my father is definitely not a mafia and even if he is a mafia, he will kill me first for being such a trash in his mafia fandom.

Ah, lets have fun fangirling everyone before coming to ugly reality that we should live and paying for electricity. 

And, Love BAP.
They will hold world tour, go if you can because from my high effort stalking research, their concerts always amazing. Their music is good, they are talented and being gorgeous just the bomb bonus.

//Shaking my virtual matoki light stick as my regards//

//and also my flying kisses//

URI B.A.P
YESS SIIIRRRR!